I’m not usually one to say this… But, I’m giving up.
It’s not every day that I just abandon all that I’ve conformed to for so long, but it comes down to what’s best for myself so I can be a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. It’s something so overlooked that it took me twenty-four years to realize.
I tried so hard to understand before…but I wasn’t ready to give up back then. I couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough.
But I’m strong now.
So I’m giving up…
I’m giving up on anyone or anything that doesn’t serve a purpose in my life. More often than not, I’ve kept people in my life that weren’t in the least bit positive. I’ve conformed to their “rules” in life and put myself on the back burner because of it. Have you ever met an individual like that? Calling all the shots and thinking of themselves in every situation possible? Walk away. I know it’s hard. No selfish, manipulative relationship ends in good terms. “Sometimes you have to walk away from what you want, to find what you deserve.” You’ll feel so much better after, trust me.
I’m giving up on perfection… and you should too. For so many years I strived to be perfect… in every little thing I did. Everything. After growing older (and a little bit wiser, might I add), I’ve made peace with being perfectly imperfect – with myself, my marriage, motherhood, work, and anything in between. I realized that the most beauty lies in our imperfections. I’m giving up on the ideal of being a perfect mom. I make mistakes, I mess up sometimes, I worry too much and relax too little. I’m allowing myself to move past perfection. Are you like me and a less-than-perfectly clean house irritates the living daylights out of you? Give it up. You’ll be cleaning 24/7, if that’s the case. It’s OK. A messy house means a lived life. I’m learning to love a gazillion toys scattered around our living room. (Even though I step on half of them and scream bloody murder.)
I’m giving up guilt. The feeling of guilt is a huge weight on my shoulders; it’s an even bigger burden. Guilt burns you from the inside. I felt guilty for being a SAHM, now I feel guilty for working 35 hours per week. The best part is finding YOUR balance, so you don’t feel guilty! Don’t worry about the situation that happened five plus years ago. Just STOP the guilt – you’re only hurting yourself. And we don’t want that, we want to see you happy, with a smile on your face. 🙂 So forgive. Let go. Breathe. Everything will be ok. No amount of guilt will take you back to the moment that triggered your guilt. Accept the past and leave the guilt behind.
I’m giving up the consistent excuses. “Maturity comes when you stop making excuses and start making changes.” Excuses are our own way of telling ourselves that we cannot mentally, physically, or personally do anything about those complaints. That it’s “not our fault” or “I can’t do anything about it.” Nobody is going to pity you with the flooding of excuses. You have two options: make progress or make excuses. It all comes down to your choices. CHOOSE to do something about your complaints. If there’s nothing you can do about it, scroll back up to the first paragraph and reread.
I’m giving up my unhealthy diet followed by little to no exercise. An hour workout is 4% of your day. Let that soak in for a second. 4% of your day… So, why don’t I take an hour out of my day to workout? Because of the excuses I cram in my head – I have a stuffy nose, I don’t feel good, I don’t have time, it’s too cold, I have a million other things to do today, so on and so forth. My body is a human garbage disposal and I’m done filling my mind with excuses. Not only am I creating horrible habits for myself, but I’m setting a bad example for my family. I want to be a good role model for my kids and set healthy habits from the start. How we feel each day completely starts with our habits. It doesn’t have to be every meal of every day. Like I said, balance is the key. Go for the chocolate. Indulge and enjoy, but follow it by something good! Join with me on this journey, let’s leave our excuses in the dust.
I’m giving up hope for a better past. The past is the past and that’s why you can’t go back. It’s permanent. No matter how bad your past is, the only thing you have control over is the present – the here and now. Once a moment has passed, it’s left a memory. You can forgive yourself, but you cannot forget. Learn to make peace with your past. That’s the only way to have a bright present and future. It does no good worrying about it. Move on, beautiful. (or handsome, if you’re a dude. 🙂 )
**A special dedication for the next and final paragraph goes to one beautiful angel, Lexy (I am withholding her last name for privacy purposes). To those of you who were her close friends, my heart is with you. <3
I’m giving up the resistance to change. It takes courage, commitment and effort to change. If you’re scared, it means something beautiful is about to happen. Allow yourself to adapt to change. Amazing opportunities never come from comfort zones. Step out. Embrace the new. Moments of change allow you to grow as an individual. Don’t resist it. A beautiful soul once said, “If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.” Thank you, Lexy. You’ve changed the lives of people that haven’t spoken to you in years. Thank you for doing your part in changing the world. I will forever take this statement with me and countless others who looked up to you! (Or down, given I’m so incredibly tall.) Rest in Paradise, sweetie.
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